Embarr-ass-ing

14 Sep

We all have embarrassing moments.

Like pray for the ground to open up and swallow us whole embarrassing moments.

My most embarrassing moment is thanks to my father.

Although, when B stepped on the train to my dress on our wedding day as we were walking out of the church and almost exposed my chesticles to both our families and God is a  very close second.

My sophomore year of high school I had a mad crush on my friend’s older brother’s best friend. You still follow? That was slightly confusing to write… 

He was older. He went to a different school. He had a license AND a car.

And he asked me to Winter Formal. Oh. Em. Gee!

We had a fabulous time. So fabulous that I was pretty sure there was going to be A Kiss at the end of the night.

BF’s bro’s BFF (Wait, do guys even *have* bffs?) got me home right at curfew and we were standing in a private corner of the living room making small talk and trying to feel each other out on how exactly we wanted to say goodnight. 

The living room shares a wall with the family room.

Where my father was dozing on the couch.

The couch that was directly on the other side of the wall.

Two feet away from where I was agonizing over whether or not I was going to get a goodnight kiss.

Juuuuust as he leaned in for the kiss my dad decided that it was time to get off the couch.

And that he needed a little extra oomph due to his exhausted state.

He farted.

LOUDLY.

It get’s better…

I jerked back in the Oh snap! Please, Lord, let the ground open up and swallow me whole kind of way.

We looked at each other silently asking did that just really happen?!

Then I saw it.

The green, noxious fumes that came rolling around the corner and into the living room.

Hand to gawd. That actually happened.

The guy got one whiff and said goodbye as he was rushing out the door. To fresh air…

Don’t worry, Dad. I’m pretty sure it’s safe to say I won’t be going on a second date. Job well done.

 

fart

 

What about you? What’s your most embarrassing moment?

 

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