Friday Flip Offs on Thursday because I’m Classy Like That.

28 Jul

I’ve found  yet another amazingly awesome blog Mama Kiss.  The first post I ever read of Mama Kiss’s was a Friday Flip Off post and I loved it!

Fridays are reserved for Five Finger Fridays so I’m stealing the concept today. I’ve got a lot to get off my oh so ample chest and I’m about to flip.the.heck.out. So help me, I am this  close to the straw that broke the camel’s back. Not that the things on my chest are helping… I’m not a big fan of the middle finger, I use the Über sarcastic thumbs up. If you ever see me driving and I give an overly enthusiastic thumbs up now you know what it really means. I’m a little terrified shooting up the middle finger will set off someone’s road rage and I want no part of that… 

 

*Side note. In the middle of trying to write this post, some poor, unsuspecting telemarketer happened to call. What’sHisFace O’PainInMyAss is now the proud new owner of a few newly ripped ass holes courtesy of my bubbling rage.* You’re welcome.

Chuck Norris giving the thumbs up made me smile.

 

Sarcastic Thumbs Up Numero Uno belongs to… *drum roll, please!*

Companies that make scrubs!

While I appreciate the fun designs and colors scrubs are available in, you need to work on your sizes. I would love to wear a shirt that doesn’t look like I’m smuggling watermelons or pregnant. You need a Large and a 1/2 size please. The large scrub top brought lots and lots of attention to the girls. They were lifted and on display. While there are time I may appreciate that look, clinicals and in the work place are NOT. Thank-you-very-much! Large obviously is not going to work, so I tried on the XL. Or should I say potato sack. While there is a tie to cinch the waist to give a bit of a figure, PREGNANT is not the look I’m going for. The scrub tops cinch, but bunch. Not attractive. So help me if someone asks me when I’m due!

And the scrub pants. Oy.

Would it kill you to make a petite version? I’m a little tea pot, short AND stout. I mean really. I can’t be the only one, right?

Sarcastic Thumbs Up Numero Dos.

Walmart

Walmart, you are a multi-billion dollar corporation. Would it kill you to have toilet paper that doesn’t feel like sand paper on the lady bits?! Not at all pleasant.

 

Sarcastic Thumbs Up number 3 gets a double gun salute!

The nameless, faceless, spineless jerkface hiding behind the internet who decided to comment on this here blog and tell me that if I was a better Christian, if I prayed better/longer/harder God would bless me with a baby by now.

The offending comment was promptly deleted. While I’m open to suggestions and (mostly) all comments (the ones offering adult services are also deleted…) that crossed the line.

Um, excuse me?!?!

Obviously this person has no idea what it’s like to have fertility issues. I’m sure I’m not alone in my daily, hourly prayers for a solution to my infertility. To know that having a child is a possibility. How dare they decide that I’m not a good person or Christian based on a blog.

How dare they!

I know I’m not perfect. I know there are areas of my life that need vast improvements. None of us are perfect. We all make mistakes, wrong choices. We’re all flawed.

It’s called being human.

We’re using the free will God gave us.

And thanks for giving Christianity such a great name, Jerkface!

 

Phew, I feel a lot better now. And it was a lot cheaper than therapy. Winning!

Do you have any Friday Flip Offs this week?

 

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