Dear #Epilepsy

23 Mar

Bear Fight

Image by richiedogg1981 via Flickr

Dear Epilepsy:

Usually I’m the queen of passive aggressive, but you’ve messed with the wrong person today. I would go all mama bear on you, but I don’t have a children, so I’m going to wifey bear you so hard you have no idea what’s coming!


If I found a magic lamp, my most important wish would be to take away your power. Not just  from my husband, but from everyone with epilepsy, ever.

I have a deep, burning, passionate hate for you, Epilepsy. Not indifference, dislike or distaste. Pure, raging, out of control hate from the deepest, darkest parts of my being. I hate how you make Hubster feel like he could be something different, better. I hate the control you have. The doubt you infect. I hate what you do to him.

 You come around every once in a while with no warning and break my heart. You make my husband feel like complete and total crap physically, mentally and emotionally. You take power and control. You steal chunks of time, memories. You leave nothing but destruction and pain in your wake.

And I’m damn sick of it.

What do I have to do to make you leave us alone?! Hubster has had surgery after surgery, tried medication after medication, had procedure after procedure and you’re still here. I don’t know what else there is to do. You can do whatever you want to me, but PLEASE leave Hubster alone.

You’ll be part of our life forever, but you’re not going to win. I will continue to fight you tooth and nail. I will not let you hold us back. I’m a stubborn, hard-headed, determined woman. You might win a few battles, but we will win the war.



2 Responses to “Dear #Epilepsy”

  1. Pamela March 23, 2011 at 9:15 am #

    How sad. What a moving post. This really details Epilepsy. I can’t imagine what he has to endure. Always wondering. Wow.

    • smallworldbiggirl March 23, 2011 at 3:14 pm #

      Epilepsy sucks. You never know when it’s coming. It embarrasses B to have a seizure, especially in public.
      It breaks my heart that B thinks he would be a better husband/father/son/brother if he didn’t have the seizures. He’s amazing at all of the above.

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