Dooooooooooooood. What. A. Week.
I haven’t stepped on a scale in a few weeks. I could feel myself sliding down the slippery eating disorder slope I ventured down in high school. I’m making changes in my life to get HEALTHY. Part of that is losing weight, but that’s only one part of the big picture. I’ve been working out more often and for longer periods of time. I’m drinking water like it’s my job. I’ve been averaging 2 liters of water a day. All the extra water means more frequent bathroom trips which means I’m up and active more. I’m making a conscious effort to move more while working my 12 shifts.
I had my much-anticipated appointment with the doctor this week. I don’t mind going to the doctor, but I’m not so much a fan of getting my blood pressure and weight taken and marked down forever in my chart. Ugh.
I make sure to get on the scale backwards. I don’t want to know the number. I know it’s higher than it should be, but I DON’T WANT TO KNOW HOW MUCH HIGHER.
My blood pressure gets taken after the scale. Of course my blood pressure is going to be a little higher than it should be. I get nervous when I’m in the office. Up goes my blood pressure. I had high-ish blood pressure the last time I was here and I’m anxious about that. Oh, see that? There it goes again! I just stepped of that d*&$ scale and I’m here about my fertility. I’m kinda tripping balls with anxiety about life in general. Seriously. It’s going to be high.
You could have knocked me over with a feather when the nurse doing my vitals told me my blood pressure was 110/70. (That blood pressure reading is one of the few ‘normal’ things about me.)
Two months ago I started some medications to help my body absorb the insulin it makes and hopefully jump-start my periods and help me regain some fertility. This was my 2 month med check. I didn’t feel like the meds were working. I wasn’t seeing changes. I skipped a monthly cycle, then got a 2 week period. (That was anything but fun) My hair is still falling out. (Bald patches as a 25-year-old woman really take serious hits on your self-esteem.) All of a sudden at 25 the Acne Fairy decided to pay me a visit. (Um, where did that b$&#% come from?!?!)
I was totally discouraged. I know these meds aren’t magic pills that are going to fix things overnight, but I was hoping for at least something.
I got my something. I’m down 12 lbs in 2 months! I actually CAN lose weight! The meds are doing their job, slowly but surely. The doctor tweaked dosage and a few other things, but they’re working. My test showed my levels are evening out and I should be seeing some improvements in the hair loss and acne soon with increased fertility and continued ability for weight loss to follow. I can lose weight, but I have to work for it. It’s not just going to happen all on its own.
Constant weight gain to down 12 lbs. Slim chance of pregnancy to more and more increased fertility. Maybe those pills have a little magic in them after all. Knowing that what I’m doing is working. I’m seeing results. Putting in blood and sweat, making lifestyle changes to be a healthier daughter, sister, friend, wife and eventually mom. THAT’S what motivates me to get going and keeps me motivated.
**This post is sponsored by SEARS FitStudio and I’m writing this to be entered into a giveaway hosted by Mamavation and sponsored by Sears.**