My doctor’s appointment went really well. I’ve lost 12 lbs in the past two months, which means my meds ARE working. I didn’t think they were doing a whole lot. If I wasn’t stressing so much I would be seeing a lot more and different results, but I’ll take what I can get. Stress is a HUGE part of my life right now
According to the doctor, the meds are working so well that if we tried to get pregnant, she would be surprised if I wasn’t pregnant in the next six months.
I’m not sure how I feel about that. I mean, I’d LOVE to get pregnant and be a Mommy. But do I want to do that right now? And it’s not all up to me. B’s opinion as my husband and the father of my future children carries a lot of weight.
Being a Mommy is the only thing I’ve ever wanted my entire life. Having that potentially taken away from me was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to hear. Do I really want to try to get pregnant right now?
B and I have been married since July 11, 2009. That’s just over a year and a half. Having children is a life long committment and changes a marriage. Do I really want to make those changes? It’s been just us for only a year and a half.
No only will kids change our relationship, but there are aunts, uncles and grandparents to think about. B’s oldest brother and sister-in-law got married last Easter. They’ve been trying to get pregnant. If pregnancy is what they want right now, I don’t want it to become a competition, or to disrupt the fragile relationship. And grandparents. Oh lordy. I don’t know what that will mean for MY parents or B’s parents. Things with the in-laws are up and down. Kids could make things better, or worse. And add a child to an at times not so great relationship? I’m not sure I want to do that.
I’m 25 and B is 29. We still have a lot of time left to have kids. B has always wanted to have a child of his own to hold before he turns 30. That leaves 2 months to get down to business. Even if it doesn’t happen, we’re young. There’s a lot of time left. Do we just practice and let nature take its course? B leans more toward waiting. There are financial milestones he wants to meet before really trying. I agree with that. But is there ever really a ‘good’ time to have kids?
The thing that weighs on me the most- Do I want to get pregnant just because I can? I’m not sure that’s a good enough reason.
Desicions, decisons. Or just nature.