To try get pregnant or not try to get pregnant. That is the question…

19 Feb

My doctor’s appointment went really well. I’ve lost  12 lbs in the past two months, which means my meds ARE working. I didn’t think they were doing a whole lot. If I wasn’t stressing so much I would be seeing a lot more and different results, but I’ll take what I can get. Stress is a HUGE part of my life right now

According to the doctor, the meds are working so well that if we tried to get pregnant, she would be surprised if I wasn’t pregnant in the next six months.

I’m not sure how I feel about that. I mean, I’d LOVE to get pregnant and be a Mommy. But do I want to do that right now? And it’s not all up to me. B’s opinion as my husband and the father of my future children carries a lot of weight.

Being a Mommy is the only thing I’ve ever wanted my entire life. Having that potentially taken away from me was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to hear. Do I really want to try to get pregnant right now?

B and I have been married since July 11, 2009. That’s just over a year and a half. Having children is a life long committment and changes a marriage. Do I really want to make those changes? It’s been just us for only a year and a half.

No only will kids change our relationship, but there are aunts, uncles and grandparents to think about. B’s oldest brother and sister-in-law got married last Easter. They’ve been trying to get pregnant. If pregnancy is what they want right now, I don’t want it to become a competition, or to disrupt the fragile relationship. And grandparents. Oh lordy. I don’t know what that will mean for MY parents or B’s parents. Things with the in-laws are up and down. Kids could make things better, or worse. And add a child to an at times  not so great relationship? I’m not sure I want to do that.

I’m 25 and B is 29. We still have a lot of time left to have kids. B has always wanted to have a child of his own to hold before he turns 30. That leaves 2 months to get down to business. Even if it doesn’t happen, we’re young. There’s a lot of time left. Do we just practice and let nature take its course? B leans more toward waiting. There are financial milestones he wants to meet before really trying. I agree with that. But is there ever really a ‘good’ time to have kids?

The thing that weighs on me the most- Do I want to get pregnant just because I can? I’m not sure that’s a good enough reason.

Desicions, decisons. Or just nature.

Sigh.

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2 Responses to “To try get pregnant or not try to get pregnant. That is the question…”

  1. lena b February 19, 2011 at 7:16 pm #

    Dude, my hubs and I waited for a long time, and I couldn’t get pregnant for some time. we will have our 10 year anniversary this year. the kids are 4 and 2. I’d like to have #3, but not sure if i have enough time. and yes, having a baby changes everything. Good luck figuring it out

  2. Pamela February 23, 2011 at 9:51 am #

    Kids do change everything. I had my first at 17, my second at 21 and my third at 31…While it’s an adjustment, it’s worth every whine, cry, diaper change, laugh, smile, etc…I could go on and on. If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen. That’s what I tell myself about having a fourth. Perhaps you don’t try to not get pregnant or to get pregnant and see what’s in store.

    I was offline for a bit but I’m back. I hate not having internet. I saved this post to comment on!

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